Happily Ever After

I found this article in a newspaper called "Common Ground" while in Calgary... It is about our purposes here on Earth and how our: "Happily Ever After" attitude or outlook can change over the years... I really enjoyed reading it and of course, wanted to share it with others. Jen


Happily Ever After



UNIVERSE WITHIN by Gwen Randall-Young

Every end is a new beginning.
– Proverb

Why is it that close to half of all marriages end in divorce? Are we more fickle, less committed, more restless and always searching for more?

We fall in love and it feels so wonderful that we want it for the rest of our lives. We get married, promising to love one another until death. We fall in love not only with the person, but also with the dream, the vision of what we think our life should be. At this moment in the evolving vision, we press pause and say that this is the picture I choose for my life.

It is the very human, egoic part of our being that does it this way. At the time, it is all that we know. We think we are the director of our life story and that we can set the agenda. If this were true, marriages would not end in divorce, accidents would not happen, loved ones would not die before we are ready to let them go and we would achieve all we desire.

Ego does not like to acknowledge that on this journey, the power is shared. We are only one half of the equation; the universe is the other half. This second half is the manifestation of soul’s destiny or purpose.

Imagine a sailboat setting out to sea. All the charts and weather patterns have been studied and a smooth, enjoyable journey is expected. Now imagine there is a sailing coach who has the ability to manipulate the oceans. He decides that, while a smooth journey would be nice, the sailor is very capable and would learn so much more if there were challenges along the way. He knows that while the challenges will be difficult, the sailor will gain strength and wisdom in struggling through them.

So the sailor sets out prepared to have an easy sail, with lots of rest and relaxation. A few days in, he discovers it will be anything but. He encounters rough seas with high waves and has to push himself to the limit to manage them. Eventually, the storm passes and he thinks the worst is now over and he can finally relax. Of course, the moment he does relax is the moment the rogue wave hits.

Our life’s journey and our relationships often go this way. While the ego plans to fall in love and live happily ever after, the soul’s agenda involves so much more. Sometimes, it seems like this: two people are drawn together with a powerful attraction and know they want to be together. Things go well as they plan their lives. Children come and they are overjoyed. A few, or many, years later, they are just not happy with each other and with their lives. Despite all of their efforts, they cannot get the feelings back. The love has faded, if not died.

It seems as though while they were dreaming, the bigger agenda involved bringing the souls of their children into this world. Those souls picked this mom and that dad and so they had to be together to fulfill this purpose. Once the purpose was fulfilled, there was no longer any reason for them to stay together. In fact, the universe had other agendas in which they needed to participate. Unaware of this, they go through all the pain and angst about how this should not have happened, as we do tend to think of divorce as a breakdown or failure of something that should have lasted.

I think we still need to believe in love, make sincere commitments and aim for the lifelong love with which some are blessed. At the same time, we need to learn to accept that the universe sometimes has other plans for us and the ending of the marriage is really no one’s fault. With this, we can learn to let go gracefully and honour one another for the gifts that surely were there, once upon a time.

Gwen Randall-Young is a psychotherapist in private practice and author of Growing Into Soul: The Next Step in Human Evolution. For more articles, permission to reprint and information about her books and “Deep Powerful Change” personal growth/hypnosis CDs, visit www.gw

Dog Photography

New York Wine Country

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of returning to the Cayuga Lake wine trail which is located in the Finger Lakes region of NY. If you look on a map, Cayuga Lake is one of the bigger of the lakes and as you proceed down the trail, you end up in Ithaca NY which is a really cool city as I found out.
Getting back to Cayuga Lake... One of the things that I love about that area in general is that it is all about farming. It contains wineries, orchards, grain fields as well as corn everywhere you look. The land is rugged, yet pure... as if you were going back in time. Life moves at a slower pace which is welcoming when you are on vacation.
One of the wineries I enjoyed in particular was the Knapp family winery. We had a wonderful server who was an elderly, retired, gentleman and just as sweet as can be. He made our experience there that much better with his honesty, warmth, and conversation. The Knapp winery specializes in Riesling wines (which we bought a bottle of) and makes a killer red table wine which I purchased as well. Although I am not a big wine drinker (or drinker of alcohol in general), I still like to have a glass of red wine from time to time. When you live in a dry country for as long as I have, it is nice to be able to even buy a bottle of wine. As my friend Regina says, "I want the right to be able to say 'no'!"
It had been about 15 years since I had visited the wineries and it may just be another 15 years until I go back. Yet, I enjoyed my time there and each time I return, I learn just a little bit more about wine.

Tomisms! (Funny Things my Dad Says Everyday)

I am making a list of things my Dad says or does as I have been home... I will continue adding more to the list as time goes by. Warning: There are some swears here....
1. Asks Dave, "Which is better, HD TV or 3 D TV?"
2. Dad has a shot of whiskey sometimes before bed at night. He pours the whiskey into a shot glass (I thought he was going to drink it as a shot) but he takes it into the living room and sips out of it for 1/2 an hour...? I asked if he would rather put it into a glass with ice and he says no. Okay.....
3. "This finicky remote pisses me off!"
4. Talking about the killer in Peru.... "Give him some electrical treatment and he will talk!"
5. Talking about the Clint Eastwood songs on his Ipod.... "I got his songs on my Ipod...I love them... They are brain relaxers!"
6. Talking about the crazy farmer next door "You tick him off and you'll wake up with a shit spreader in your bedroom!"
7. "Come and look at this! One of the dogs took a shit on my lawmower! They must not think too much of it to do that! I am flabbergasted!"
8. By God... Look at that! Another ass drencher! (Talking about the storm)

I will continue to add more as the summer goes by. Too funny not to post!

The Past Eight Years in Kuwait and what I have Learned from Some of the Men Here

This list of things is meant to be sarcastic and funny but honest at the same time! These are based on some of my experiences in Kuwait.

1. Do not answer your cell phone when you do not recognize the number. More than likely it is a random guy looking for a date, a hook-up or just to annoy you. It seems men call random numbers in hopes of the above. Gross and just plain stupid.
2. Be careful of walking around in supermarkets. Some men will follow you around with an empty shopping cart while trying to keep their distance behind you. I don’t know what they want, but I imagine it is similar to number one.
3. When riding in a car, do not look out your window to the left or right at anytime. Some men will take this as a flirty invite and may follow you all around the town.
4. Walking right behind your husband actually does have its advantages. It will block the stares of other men trying to sneak a peek.
5. You will have to raise your voice often (because you are not being listened to or taken seriously). Unfortunately, I have learned that I need a megaphone to be heard. I have even thrown my sunglasses on the ground in a fit of rage to get a point across. Geez!
6. When you are in Starbucks and feel you are being watched, YES you probably are! I have noticed some men using a newspaper to spy on me from behind it. Ick!
7. Do not be overly concerned if weirdo men pull over in their cars as you are walking to ask if you are married or have a boyfriend. Also, these same men may have curtains hanging up in their car over the windows. This is very common-moronic, but common.
8. Don't sit in the subway (restaurant) window to eat your sandwich while you are there. Men will walk by and keep walking by to stare. Maybe they think you are one of the store displays. I do not know.

Of course not all men are like this. It is usually the random guy here and there. I have become much stronger from all of my experiences

English Department -End of the Year Breakfast

This past weekend we had our annual end of the year breakfast to say goodbye to teachers who are leaving AIS and to celebrate JUNE! I thought I would be getting more and more emotional about leaving Kuwait but it hasn't really happened yet. Either it hasn't sunken in yet or I am really just that ready to move on. We shall see in the next two weeks how I will be doing. Happy June everyone!

Going home in Two Weeks!

Cape Cod this Summer

Cape Cod is one of my favorite places to go in the summer. Yes, it is crowded and the roads are jammed with traffic, but it doesn't stop me from going there from time to time. It still holds sentimental appeal to me as it is the honeymoon spot of my mother and father when they were married.

The Cape Cod National Seashore is rated as one of the top beaches in the States and no wonder. The gentle sand dunes, classic lighthouses and sharp blue water make it a one-of-a kind beach. There is a quaintness about the Cape that is hard to beat.

When I stayed at the Cape a couple summers ago, I was able to find a hotel right withing walking distance to the local beach, restaurants and gift shops. As I was walking past an inlet of water by the road, I saw local families out digging for clams. There were even spectators nearby on their lawn chairs watching the action as if they were out at a parade. Just extraordinary.

I enjoy going to the Cape and just unwinding. I get into a routine of peacefulness that rejunvenates my soul: going out for a walk in the morning, having breakfast, going to the beach for the day, reading my books or listening to music-all at my own pace and time schedule. Hopefully, this year I would like to make my way over there again. There is something magical about the Cape and New England in general.

Accelerated Reader Field Trip 2010

You know it is the end of the school year when Tina (our wonderful middle school librarian) and I take the kids on the AR field trip. For those of you not familiar with AR, it is a reading program based in the library where students basically read books and then take a reading test on a computer. Students generate points per book for each test passed. By the end of the year, we take the top 35 students with the most points on the trip.
This year, we took the kids to the Cozmo bowling center in Salmiya. We ate our lunch first in the food court area of the mall and afterwards hit the lanes. The kids had a blast and it was fun to see them enjoy themselves outside of school. We don't go on many field trips here in Kuwait so it was much appreciated. Unfortunately it was my last AR field trip for AIS which was a bit bittersweet. I will miss so many of the students next year. They are a really good group of kids.

2010 AIS Spring Invitational Basketball Tournament

Dave and his JV Varsity Boys' Basketball team won the Spring Invitational Tournament this past weekend. This was a tournament that Dave organized about a month back with five other schools (or clubs) in Kuwait; one of them being Kuwait Basketball League.
Anyway, the tournament went on for two weekends straight and this past Saturday was the championship game. Dave's boys won! Dave also gave out medals for both the 1st and 2nd place winners with a trophy. I don't think the boys ever received medals before as they usually just bring home a banner for the school. It was a wonderful experience for all the boys as they continue to grow and improve in their basketball skills. Mabrook!

Last Day with the Eighth Grade! Hallelujah!

Today was my last day pushing into the 8th grade classrooms. All eighth-graders had to take their end of the year QRI assessment. I administer this test three times a year to all middle-school students to determine their comprehension reading levels in May.
Now I am left wondering; what is it about those eighth-graders? In general, I find that age to be a very challenging one to teach. It seems that even though they are on the cusp of becoming high-schoolers, they still don't have that maturity yet. And, at the same time, they hold grudges, become more belligerent, and are just "too cool" for 99% of what you what to do with them in class. I think I am just missing that sweetness and innocence that they once had back in 6th or 7th grade.
Another part of my "annoyance" (and this isn't even their fault) is there are too many of them crammed into a tiny classroom. When I first came to Kuwait, there were 15 or 16 in a class. That number was very workable and there was extra room in class to isolate troublemakers or do some re-arranging. Also, the classrooms were originally built for that many I believe. Over the years we continue to go up in class sizes and are now pushing 22 or 23 in a room. Normally, that isn't too bad but it is when your classroom cannot support those numbers. So sad. As I was walking around the room today giving out the test, I noticed how students are tripping over desks, their backpacks and their feet just to go to the bathroom.
When you push into a classroom, you feel a bit like a substitute. It does take a while to build relationships with the kids. Luckily, I have known this bunch of 8th graders since 6th grade so I have that going for me. There are even many 8th graders that I adore on an individual basis. But when they are together as a group, 8th grade is just not my favorite grade-sorry to say.

Congratulations Dave!

This past Friday Dave graduated with his Master's Degree from SUNY Buffalo. He was one of 13 in his graduating class that included his friend Fasial. This was the third group of graduates since the program's start in Kuwait about six years ago. Dave's degree is in Curriculum and Special Education. Bravo!

American International School of Kuwait -Science Fair

AIS had its sixth grade science fair on Thursday, April 29th 2010. The topics of their science projects included: testing for the best battery, which stain remover was most effective, different soils for different plants, fingerprinting, to the strongest type of bridges. Here are a few pictures from that day.

Research Skills at AIS

Well, this year's research skills class for 6th graders is almost finished. I had the privilege of working with four sections of sixth graders and they have been wonderful. I'll certainly miss them next year.
About four years ago my principal had asked me to create a research-skills program for the students in our middle school. At the time, students were lacking in many of the skills needed to conduct research projects accurately and independently. I created a curriculum based on "The Big 6" program by Micheal Eisenberg and Robert Berkowitz. Students are learning how to paraphrase information, write a works cited, how to use note cards as well as an outline. From the outline we have written essays, created power points, posters and speeches. Here are some pictures of my students' posters that they recently created. What a terrific bunch they are.